Forgiveness (Grief Reflections)

Forgiveness – what is it really?
This week, Carly and myself discussed the topic of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not the same for everyone. It is a concept that is built upon your beliefs, stories that you have been told, ideas that you have taken on or teachings from your parents and teachers.

In this video, you can see and hear us talk about:

• the concept of forgiveness
• self-forgiveness
• forgiving others
• forgiving ‘things’ or concepts like: life and death, the medical world, God, reality versus dreams and hopes
• steps to forgive

We invite you to ponder these questions for you:

1. What are your beliefs around forgiveness? What does this concept mean to you?
2. What would you need to forgive yourself for?
3. What and whom would you need forgive?
4. What do you need to do or say, in order to be more able to forgive?
   What would you need to acknowledge (pain, hurt, disappointment, …)
5. What is the cost of not forgiving? How does ‘not forgiving’ (or ‘not letting go’) negatively impact your life?
6. If you could re-write your script, your story around ‘forgiveness’ what would that be like? What beliefs, that support you now, would you like to take on?

Areas grieving parents might still hold resentment:

Self:

• feeling guilty for not being able to have a healthy child
• for having made a decision, that you’re not sure now, whether it was the right one
• not having been able to prevent death of your child
• feeling jealous regarding other women’s pregnancies
• etc.

Others:

• medical team re saving the baby/child
• medical world not been as far as it could have been to save your baby/child
• other parents not treating their children they way you think they should
• your partner saying/doing something that you feel is/was ‘wrong’
• friends for being insensitive in their comments and actions

Tell us about your insights and views on this topic in the comment sections below.

Photo credit: Michael Goh, Perth

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