Forgiveness – what is it really?
This week, Carly and myself discussed the topic of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not the same for everyone. It is a concept that is built upon your beliefs, stories that you have been told, ideas that you have taken on or teachings from your parents and teachers.
In this video, you can see and hear us talk about:
- the concept of forgiveness
- self-forgiveness
- forgiving others
- forgiving ‘things’ or concepts like: life and death, the medical world, God, reality versus dreams and hopes
- steps to forgive
We invite you to ponder these questions for you:
- What are your beliefs around forgiveness? What does this concept mean to you?
- What would you need to forgive yourself for?
- What and whom would you need forgive?
- What do you need to do or say, in order to be more able to forgive?
What would you need to acknowledge (pain, hurt, disappointment, …) - What is the cost of not forgiving? How does ‘not forgiving’ (or ‘not letting go’) negatively impact your life?
- If you could re-write your script, your story around ‘forgiveness’ what would that be like? What beliefs, that support you now, would you like to take on?
Areas grieving parents might still hold resentment:
Self:
- feeling guilty for not being able to have a healthy child
- for having made a decision, that you’re not sure now, whether it was the right one
- not having been able to prevent death of your child
- feeling jealous regarding other women’s pregnancies
- etc.
Others:
- medical team re saving the baby/child
- medical world not been as far as it could have been to save your baby/child
- other parents not treating their children they way you think they should
- your partner saying/doing something that you feel is/was ‘wrong’
- friends for being insensitive in their comments and actions
Tell us about your insights and views on this topic in the comment sections below.
Photo credit: Michael Goh, Perth
This was a great video. The hardest thing for me is to forgive myself. I feel as though it is my fault one of twins passed away. How can I do that. I don’t think that is possible. I will never know if it Because of me. Maybe in more time. I will journal this and see if over time I can come to a better understanding.
Thank you for your comment Emily. As mentioned, forgiveness can be a gradual thing.
If you find it hard to forgive yourself, ask yourself: “What’s the cost of not forgiving myself?” and, leading on from there: “What would I need to say, in order to forgive myself just 5%?”
See how you’re going with that and let us know in the comments, if you like.
All Love, Nathalie