Dear Friend, Family Member, Professional or Personal Supporter for Bereaved Parents
Today, the first Sunday of May is International Bereaved Mothers Day. You haven’t heard of it? Then read the next paragraph explaining it. If you know about it, skip to the next heading.
Bereaved Mothers Day?
Carly Marie Dudley originally created this special day in 2010 to honour and celebrate the mothers who carry some, if not all, of their children in their hearts rather than their arms.
Just because your child died does not mean that you are not a mother anymore.
Carly Marie
This is the Support we need
You know a mother or father who has experienced child loss. You’re probably – at least to some extent – helpless at what you can or can’t say or do to make it easier or better. There isn’t anything. Yet, your presence itself helps us make it more bearable.
THIS IS THE SUPPORT WE NEED – your presence, your ongoing presence, your willingness to be there with us. You can’t resolve the pain we are going through or make it better and – hear this! – you don’t need to.
Today, on this day, all we need is your sign that you remember with us. Remember the mothers you know who are in trepidation of Mothers Day next Sunday because it stings in their heart. Today, send them a sign of acknowledgement. Here are some ideas:
- mention my child’s name
- remember my child with me (you can even download and send me one of the images below)
- donate in memory of my child
- send me a message of support
- celebrate us as a mother (or father)
- let me know, that you’re thinking of me
- light a candle in memory of my child
You’re Important
You’re vital to me. You might think that you’re not doing enough or that what you’re doing isn’t the right thing. Trust me when I say: There isn’t much you can do wrong that trying too hard.
Trust we are doing what’s needed while grieving.
Grieving is a natural process – it is hard, but we are made to do this.
Tell us you’re here and continue to be here.
Call and leave a message, even when we don’t have the strength to return your call. We hear you.
We appreciate your presence and love.
Thank you,
Thank you,
the Bereaved Mother
I lost my younger son, John, May 9th, 2015.. I feel that I will never get my life back on track, I do ok for a few weeks, sometimes even a month or more.. but I fall apart and my emotions cause so much turmoil when I can’t contain my sadness…..I don’t know where to turn for help
Dear Robyn,
I’m sorry for the loss of your son John.
It is normal that grief triggers will set you off so you fall apart. Those waves grow further apart with time and also the waves are absorbed faster – this at least is my experience.
Have you joined our peer support group ‘May We All Heal’? You can do so here: http://www.facebook.com/groups/mayweallheal
Also, have you seen our latest guest bloggers post? You can find it here: https://grievingparents.net/how-can-i-help-you/
Please let us know how else we can support you.
Much Love,
Nathalie Himmelrich