After Aubrey and Ellie died I felt for the first time the kind of pain that would make someone want to put a needle in their arm. Although I didn’t, I certainly found other ways to numb the hurt. One of those ways was to drink. Alcohol is highly effective at stifling pain, but it is also highly effective at stifling healing. For a time, I used alcohol to suppress the emotions that seemed to never let up. Becoming aware of the role alcohol was playing in my grief and the obstacle it had become to healing was a turning point. Now I rarely drink and when I do it is for completely different reasons. I still enjoy a glass of wine on occasion but I protect myself more than I used to. I have ways healthier ways to face my emotions now.