It’s been 11 years since Aubrey and Ellie died. Because I’ve spent more than a decade writing transparently about the reality of grief and healing, I am often asked to speak about my journey. I’ve done hundreds of talks ranging from sharing the details of my personal story to deeper topics like God’s goodness in pain or if everything happens for a reason. I’ll admit, I love to take on the heavy topics as the cornerstone of my healing has been to omit the cliches and misunderstandings about grief and get straight to the messy, real, honest insights about what it takes to heal – the ones no one wants to say out loud because then we have nothing to hide behind anymore.
It’s been my experience that few like to hear that healing is possible. It feels safer in the pain, even with all it’s anguish, because the pain becomes the best excuse ever. For years I didn’t want to hope because, well, my babies died. I didn’t want to dream, try, plan, laugh, hold on too tightly to anything, or see myself as a whole person BECAUSE MY BABIES DIED. They died in my arms for Godsake, each on their own day in their own way. Who could ever tell me I’d be ok? And trust me, no one did. No one was brave enough to look my grieving face in the eye and say, “It feels impossible, but you will heal if you want to.” Instead I was told I’d never get over the deaths of my sweet girls because a mother doesn’t get over the loss of her children. It was stated like truth. And I believed it…for a while.
Spoiler alert! I don’t believe it anymore. Healing is possible and my favorite topic to speak on is what it takes to cultivate healing after profound loss. I created this PDF to express the four core healing truths I teach about at every opportunity. Over the month of September, I’ll elaborate on each truth with four blog posts overflowing with deeper explanations, tender insights, practical applications, and answers to your questions. Feel free to leave questions in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them.
Shirin Sultana says
I lost my precious adult son last June. I am un aware of what is happening to me or no plans for anything. I am just there.Cancer ate my son in front of my eyes and I stood there helplessly watching nothing was working in his favor.
But you are amazing because you are giving hope to others, god bless you!
Thank you for your blog and sorry for your loss