Click here to go back to questions.
Example of answers:
- What does this mean to me?
-> The world is a dangerous place.
-> I must be a bad person to experience this bad karma.
-> It is God’s will therefore I must endure this.
–> If this has happened, anything can happen.
-> This world does not make sense if babies die before they had a change to live.
-> I will never enjoy living again.
-> My baby would want me to be happy again.
- Is this meaning helpful or hurtful?
-> Some yes, some no.
- What will I gain or lose if I assign more helpful meanings?
-> Gain: I will be more resourceful. I will enjoy my life. I should life my life and enjoy it.
-> Lose: The familiar feeling of sadness. The (presumed) connection with my baby through the pain. Some of my bereaved friends might not like me anymore if I’m happy and enjoying life.
- What will I gain or lose if I assign more hurtful meanings?
-> Gain: I don’t have to deal with life. People will continue to take care of me.
-> Lose: The joy of life.
- Am I ready to reframe this meaning?
(If you’re not ready, that’s fine. It simply means you’re not ready YET. Give it some time and come back to this exercise.)
- What else could it mean? What else would l like it to mean?
–> This experience is teaching me something about life and death.
-> It’s a gift.
-> The sadness is allowed alongside the joy and laughter.
-> I am allowed to live my life joyously.
-> I honour my child by enjoying life.
-> I honour her memory by healing.
- What other meaning would I like to create out of this experience?
-> This is life changing.
-> I’m grateful to the depth of experience I now live.
- What specific help do I need to create this meaning?
-> I could talk to other bereaved parents who have moved forward and ask them about their meaning.
-> I will model someone I admire from the community.
-> I will take part in uplifting activities.
-> I can help myself by helping others.
Create meaningful meanings.
~ Nathalie Himmelrich