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Meaning Creation – continued

What Else Could This Mean? - from the book "Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple" by Nathalie HimmelrichClick here to go back to questions.

Example of answers:

  • What does this mean to me?
    -> The world is a dangerous place.
    -> I must be a bad person to experience this bad karma.
    -> It is God’s will therefore I must endure this.
    –> If this has happened, anything can happen.
    -> This world does not make sense if babies die before they had a change to live.
    -> I will never enjoy living again.
    -> My baby would want me to be happy again.
    etc.
  • Is this meaning helpful or hurtful?
    -> Some yes, some no.
  • What will I gain or lose if I assign more helpful meanings?
    -> Gain: I will be more resourceful. I will enjoy my life. I should life my life and enjoy it. 
    -> Lose: The familiar feeling of sadness. The (presumed) connection with my baby through the pain. Some of my bereaved friends might not like me anymore if I’m happy and enjoying life.
  • What will I gain or lose if I assign more hurtful meanings?
    -> Gain: I don’t have to deal with life. People will continue to take care of me.  
    -> Lose: The joy of life. 
  • Am I ready to reframe this meaning?
    -> Yes
    (If you’re not ready, that’s fine. It simply means you’re not ready YET. Give it some time and come back to this exercise.)
  • What else could it mean? What else would l like it to mean?
    –> This experience is teaching me something about life and death.
    -> It’s a gift.
    -> The sadness is allowed alongside the joy and laughter.
    -> I am allowed to live my life joyously.
    -> I honour my child by enjoying life.
    -> I honour her memory by healing.
  • What other meaning would I like to create out of this experience?
    -> This is life changing. 
    -> I’m grateful to the depth of experience I now live. 
  • What specific help do I need to create this meaning?
    -> I could talk to other bereaved parents who have moved forward and ask them about their meaning.
    -> I will model someone I admire from the community.
    -> I will take part in uplifting activities. 
    -> I can help myself by helping others. 

Create meaningful meanings.
~ Nathalie Himmelrich

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    Hi There, I’m Nathalie…

    I'm the founder of the Grieving Parents Support Network (GPSN), the May We All Heal peer support group. I'm also the author of numerous grief resource books. As a psychotherapist, I work mainly in the area of grief recovery. You can also find me here @NathalieHimmelrich Read More…

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