A Story of losing Hope but keeping hope
After being unsuccessful at becoming pregnant naturally we conceived in our first round of IVF, after implanting one egg, which subsequently split and graced us with expecting identical twin girls.
In our 19 weeks scan we were told that one of our twins showed abnormalities in her kidneys. After our scan the girls got fed up of being called ‘twin 1’ and ‘twin 2’ and we chose Angel cards to give them ‘names in utero’. Since then we have been referring to them as Passion and Hope – very synchronistic as twin 2 chose Hope and she was the one dealing with her malformed kidneys.
Basically the doctors and specialists couldn’t say for sure but mentioned that Hope showed cysts in both of her kidneys. They gave us worst case scenarios which I didn’t take on, knowing that this is just one moment in time and things can change.
I continued with the pregnancy knowing that the life I had inside of me was still very much alive. This was the time we had with the two girls and we were making the most of it.
On 1 September 2011 they were born at just 2070g (Passion) and 1740g (Hope). Both needed to be rushed into the NICU where they were on breathing support machines and in a humidicrib to keep them warm. Hope was struggling as her lungs had not matured past 24 weeks, which we – and the doctors – didn’t anticipate.
During her second night, Hope struggled through a collapsed lung and we knew that she wasn’t meant to stay with us and grow up alongside her sister.
I held them both on day three – Hope and Passion – for the first and only time together, alive, as sisters in human form on my bare chest.
And now, in life I hold Passion’s hand, and in my heart I hold Hope’s presence.
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