There are so many things that I don’t remember. I don’t remember how it felt before grief took over; how relationships and life in general influenced my emotional and mental state then. Was I always happy and content? Was my mind not as occupied? I honestly don’t remember. It is probably more … [Read more...]
The Love and Grief Conversations
My daughter is 6. She loves babies. She talks a lot. She also talks a lot about her brother. The three listed are her favorites, talking about her baby brother. Many of our conversations end up talking about him and I love it. She is my buddy. K: Mami, now that M (my sister) has had her baby, … [Read more...]
Due Date
As my day turns into next... I was supposed to be all covered in flour. Mixing bowls on the counter, choosing how to decorate a cake - an animal theme. Two candles ready...an eager boy ready to blow. Wishes for a firetruck, a farm - filled when you opened your presents. Excitement, laughter, … [Read more...]
Lesson 6: A Legacy is Not a Replacement
Legacy is Not a Replacement Co-founding Teamotions has given me a meaningful way to create a legacy for Aubrey and Ellie and I'm very proud of what we've accomplished, but its success has not for one second been worth losing them. I'd trade it all in a heartbeat to have my babies back. It is … [Read more...]
Tonight
Everything of the last weeks has been focused on today. Joining a choir has been one of the most gentle, healing and important choices I have made for myself in the last six months. Every week's practice has been the place to relax, cry, laugh and connect. I sometimes feel like I live my life as an … [Read more...]