In the beginning, my love for Aubrey and Ellie was reflected in my pain. All you had to do was take one look at my tear-covered face and it was clear how much those little girls meant to me. As I made progress in my healing something strange started to happen; healing felt like betrayal. Every time I laughed again or looked forward to the future, it felt like I was leaving them behind. I didn’t know how to love them and heal at the same time. I had to learn that my love for them is reflected in my healing more than it ever could be in my hurting. Healing didn’t mean letting go of them, it just meant letting go of the pain.