A while ago I had a conversation with a 30 year old woman. She told me her mother lost 2 children around/on Christmas, before she was born. One was a baby, born prematurely and the other was her brother, 8 years old at the time, who died from a lung infection.
She was the rainbow baby, born about 15 months after her brother’s death.
She remembers that Christmas was never fun. Her mother and father both stayed in their rooms and she felt alone. Now, as an adult, she hates Christmas and has worked for years to not be severely depressed around Christmas.
She also mentioned that she does not have much of a relationship with her mother, all she remembers was being compared to her brother who – in memory – was always ‘more behaved’, ‘less wild’, ‘easier’ etc.
What an interesting account of an adult rainbow child, obviously affected by her parent’s way of dealing with their grief.
What does this mean to you?
How would you like your rainbow children or other siblings remember you as a parent?
Are you able to find a healthy balance between grieving and parenting your other children?
Share, if you wish, in the comments.
Image Source: Nathalie Himmelrich